Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Zombies Are Coming!!!


We've all veered off track.  With so many activities in our day-to-day lives, we've lost what's important.  With today's big issues of Government shutdown, global warming & athlete’s foot, we need to get on the ball.  Folks, I'm talking about a zombie invasion.

THE SIGNS ARE IN FRONT OF OUR EYES AMERICA!

You just need to add it all up.  Think about it; NFL lockout, rising gas prices, another Chipmunks movie.  People, the wheels are turning for a zombie apocalypse.

"But Monte, What can I do to prevent it from happening?"

Prevent?  Oh I'm sorry.  You still don't get it?  IT'S ALREADY STARTED.  The only thing you can do is get into survival mode.

Like fight club, there are rules that must be followed.  Here are some top facts to prepare yourself...

1. Kiss the life you know good bye, because it's a lot easier than kissing your ass goodbye in a zombie pile up.

2. Think about all the people that annoyed you or you've hated in life. Make a list once you've thought it through.  If things get tough, and you resort to cannibalism, you'll have a shopping list ready.

3. Lastly, work on your swordsmanship.  Guns are over rated.  You don't have to reload a sword.

Admittingly, it'll be rough with this new world we're about to enter.  The transition will be beyond horrible with many casualties.  You're going to face obstacles you've never imagined possible. 

Kids will never get the thrill of watching Saturday morning cartoons.  Instead, it's straight to survival mode.  Forget a glove and ball for birthday presents.  They'll learn how to wield a sword and aim a gun. 

Honestly, I don't know if I can live in a world without BBQ sauce.  Hell, we'll all have to make sacrifices.  But if I can eat the remains of that bully from high school, surviving a zombie apocalypse should be easy peasy.


***Big Thanks to www.bifuteki.com for the zombie kid pic ***

1 comment:

  1. Knives don't have to be reloaded, but they do need to be sharpened! Go for the blade/blast combo.

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