Friday, June 24, 2011

Day 71: Zombies Come Out To Play

**REMEMBER TO CHECK OUT THE ZOMBIE TAB AT THE TOP IF HAVEN'T READ ALL THE STORIES**
Ask me a few months ago, I would've gone on a long rant about how my town was turning to shit. Too many potholes, kids were putting graffiti all over the walls, and that damn dog across the street was doing its business on my lawn.
I find it ironic now.  Especially as I'm watching a zombie inhale that dog's tail like a piece of spaghetti.  Then I wondered if zombies go to the bathroom.  I guess if it poops the dog on my lawn that'll be considered 'The Circle of Life'.
See, I prepared for the zombies.  The boredom however, totally different story!  I could've invited others over for some interaction.  In my world though; that wasn't an option.
I've lived alone in a home I inherited from my parents for quite a while.  Before their passing, I worked long hours, and had to help take care of them the rest of the time.  Their health coverage was surprisingly awful, or at least their company weaseled out of it (damn big companies)!  So I didn't have time to talk to people, let alone have friends.
Then, they unexpectedly passed away.
I was exhausted, sleep deprived and honestly, just burnt out.  It was probably better it happened when it did.  Only problem, I was still burnt out and on top of it, miserable.
When I wasn't planning on zombies, I figured I'd spend my golden years at a secluded fishing lake in Alaska.  Now don't let Alaska's stereotypes fool you.  It's some of the most beautiful land on this planet.  As a bonus, it would've been just me.
Lately, the thoughts of seeing snow capped mountains feels like a fantasy.  Now, I sit on the rooftop of my house, and gaze out to the horizon.  Not to see a sunset though.
Nope, not even close. Instead I place bets in my head on who'll win races.  Either which zombie will make the kill, or which person isn't going to outrun the zombies.
It never lasts long, but hell; it breaks up the monotony of my useless days.
Also, I study how people are defending themselves.  Figured it can't hurt to study our little friend's.
Some neighbors just used dead bolts to protect themselves.  That didn't work.  So even if they're dead; they apparently have some strength.  My other neighbor didn't last too long, but he scored bonus points for ingenuity.
He was a sporting good salesman on eBay.  So he took treadmills, lined them outside his house, and turned them on to repel the bastards.  Ever see a guy fall on a treadmill?  Well imagine it happened to about 20 of those fucks on a continuous loop.
I have to admit.  It was pretty damn funny at first.  Then his generator ran out of juice...the fun stopped pretty quickly at that point.  Before I knew it the....

***KNOCK KNOCK***
Um...apparently someone is knocking at my door.

***KNOCK KNOCK***
MISTER, YOU ALIVE IN THERE STILL?!?!

I guess I should look into this, and stop typing if they're really people.

***KNOCK KNOCK***
COME ON ASSHOLE, OPEN UP!!!
Ha Ha...Flattery will get you nowhere, now I'm not busting out the good China for you.
I'll be back soon.  Looks like I have guests.

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