What do mosquitoes and Harold Camping have in common?Give up?They're both annoying little insignificant fucks that won't stop bothering us.
May 21st, the end of the world, was all you heard about.Offhand, I can think of four billboards advertising the end of the world.It's all because of this worthless jack wagon.
He predicted the end of the world for the fifth time since 1994.Why did he think this?According to Camping, the gay community is essentially the right hand of the devil, and it's corrupting earth.
As much as I'd like to make fun of this crusty old bigot, I can't.Now, Camping says he was off by five months.Yup, the rapture is now happening October 21st
You might think this miscalculation of his, is even more of a reason to ridicule him.I can't do it though, frankly because this is too serious to laugh at.
No, not that his prediction is serious.
People are donating millions to his cause to spread the word of 'the end ofdays', families are no longer together because they argued that we were going to die on Saturday, lastly Camping is spreading his bigotry towards the gay community.
All of these are serious problems caused by this d-bag.So I can't laugh at this end of the world part 2.
I was talking to a co-worker about this.I said, "I hate Camping for how he's spread these ideas, and affecting people.Unfortunately, I don't think we can stop him due to free speech."
My co-worker responded saying, "Freedom of speech doesn't mean you're allowed to yell fire in a movie theater when there isn't one.So why should he essentially say it?"
Never-mind what we think. What are your thoughts on the matter?Leave any thoughts you may have on the matter below.
It's easily second nature by now.I don't have to think; muscle memory pretty much takes over, and goes from there.It's almost like putting my shoes on.I don't have to think about how to lace up my sneakers.I just do it.
I've been playing bass guitar since the summer of 2000.Don't think that means anything though because, well, I still think I suck.Until I can pull off songs from 'Primus' or 'Red Hot Chili Peppers' with ease, I'll never be happy.
This past weekend I played a 'Green Day' cover show at my favorite bar.People said the show was great, and that I sounded like their records, but I wasn't happy about it.
I always played songs in bands with people that loved 'Green Day'.Personally they're good and all, but I'm nowhere near a diehard fan.So I'm EXTREMELY burnt out on them.
Also, playing shows is much harder than it used to be.I'm moving soon, looking for a new job and trying to be financially responsible.All things that make it difficult to play in any type of band.
So I've decided that it’s time to retire.No more bands.No more gigs. No more lugging heavy-ass equipment.
So of course, I had to reflect on my time as bass player for several bands.I had some ups, and of course some downs.If you asked me if it was worth it, I'd say, "FUCK YEAH IT WAS!"
Bottom line, EVERYONE should be in a band at least once in their life.
The experience and memories are utterly priceless.We all deserve the high of performing on stage, the thrill of recording something you created, and especially the rush when people cheer you on.
Besides the thrill, I really think playing in a band is beneficial for anyone.I don't have stage fright, I've met a lot of great people who I'm great friend's with, and it's helped with my creativity.
It has been a strange week.Due to what's in the news, and in my past, I can't stop thinking about this topic.
Nonetheless, I definitely feel like it warrants a blog.Hell, a Man-Law!
Man-Law Rule #6: Real Men Stay Faithful
It's amazing how staying faithful is so difficult for people, and by people, I mean everyone from teens to rich celebrities.
I touched on this late last week, but I just can’t leave it alone.Also, I know I call these Monday blogs Man-Laws, but really, this truly applies to everyone.
My almost fiancé (literally...I was a week away from proposing) admitted to cheating on me in October of 2008 (after 5-years together).To be honest, I'm still screwed up from the whole ordeal.
I have trust, anxiety & self doubt issues, that I've dealt with every day since.I've gotten much better at them, but I'm still a long ways off.
I still act like my old funny/fun lovin' self, but at times, my old self is more of a disguise than anything.Luckily, I have great friend's that helped me through it.
People seem to forget how much hurt they're able to inflict on someone.Especially someone you "supposedly" care for.
You really have the power to change someone's life, and in the worst way.As I mentioned in my blog last week; I define love as being able to put someone else's well being before your own.To me, that's a whole new level of compassion.
So how could anyone deliberately inflict such pain onto another person?Honestly, I have no fuckin' clue.
Cheating is really easy for some people.They can't break up with someone, but they have no problem whipping it out, or spreading their legs for someone else?!?!
Just makes no god damn sense.
I really don't know who reads these blogs, or what they take away from them.All I can say is, think.You're lies can really change someone, possibly even for life.
I would also like to change my previous statement, so that everyone's included...
Earth-Law Rule #6:Everyone should be faithful in a relationship
There's something strange, and it don't look good, so who you gonna call?
Um...somebody else apparently.
Due to major budget issues, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is looking to close 20 firehouses.One of which, is the famous Tribeca firehouse from the hit comedy "Ghostbusters".
My response upon hearing this news was a very immature, "NOOOOOOO THEY CAN'T"!
If you're a product of the 80's, there's a very good chance, like myself, that you grew up on the Ghostbusters movies and cartoons.It symbolizes a great time in life.An innocent/carefree time when you're biggest concern was watching Saturday morning cartoons.
After reminiscing about Ghostbusters with co-workers for 5-minutes, I figured I should read into the story.
The mayor is advocating that it'll save about $30 million dollars in the budget.Money New York desperately needs to recoup on.
Residents are calling the possible move asinine.They say closing 20 houses in the biggest terror target in the county is the wrong move.The closing will cause people to die...Bottom line.
I finished reading several articles, and thought it over for a while.I had trouble deciding if this was a good move or not.See, like one hit wonder Natalie Imbruglia, I was torn (yes, I stole this awesome line from the show scrubs).
With so many factors, I wasn't sure which was the right move.Then it became obvious.
I pictured myself as someone who's never watched Ghostbusters (which should be a crime), living outside the NYC area, looked at the high volume of calls the FDNY gets & reviewed Mayor Mike’s track record of spending.
The answer is simple.
All 20 firehouses need to stay open.It's not worth gambling someone's life with.In a post 9/11 era, the closing of NYC firehouses should never be considered (unless it's for possible upgrades).
Hey Mayor Mike!
Be realistic and look at your real options according to New Yorkers.
I think everyone would prefer saving their local firehouse, over the millions of tax payer dollars you decided to spend on eating habits.
The world is ending this Saturday the 21st! Really? Wow, that's something else.
Oh, now you gotta be kiddin'!!! The world is ending at precisely 6pm est.
So my band won't even get a chance to set-up our equipment, let alone play a show. I seriously can't believe it.
No really, I can't believe it.
Let's review a few things here.
For starters, humans can't even predict the weather properly. So what on god's green earth makes you so sure the world is ending Saturday? Let alone exactly at 6pm est.
Secondly, have you ever heard of scare tactics? Sure you have, because they're used on children all the time. Be a good boy or else you'll go on Santa's naughty list...good girls finish dinner or else no desert. But sometimes, adults take it too far.
One New Yorker stands out. Due to the end of the world, he has decided to spend his life savings. In retrospective, if at least he spent it on booze and hookers, I could say he was looking to go out in style. But no, he went another route.
He spent $140,000 on NYC bus & subway advertisement. This man wanted to spread the word on May21st. In other words, he wanted to scare more people for what he believed in. The fact he promoted a book he wrote with the advertisements, I’m sure, was because god wanted him to.
I'm sure one or two skeptics don't believe me. There always has to be at least one. So here is my proof we'll be fine. I've survived the days of catholic school, Y2K, Mad Cow Disease, Global Warming, Pet Dander and Swine Flu. So I'm more than certain, we'll make it to Sunday.
The Governator, It’s not a toomah and I’ll be back. There, I got all the jokes and saying out of the way about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now onto the serious stuff.
What a piece of shit!
I’ve never had sympathy, or tolerance, for anyone who cheats on their spouse, partner, boyfriend or girlfriend. Nope, in my book, those people are more worthless than clothes dryer lint.
To take someone’s trust/love, and be able to just spit on it in return, is appalling. Doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity or the average Joe (or Jane for that matter), they all fall into the same worthless category.
Love, if I had to describe it in one sentence would be: The ability to care for someone above your own well being.
So I can’t truly understand how someone can take love for granted like this. Love is probably the greatest gift anyone on this planet can have. I know it sounds corny, but John Lennon was right, all you need is love.
By cheating, you’re inflicting so much hurt onto the other person. I know this because it happened to me.
For so long I was saving up for the ring my girlfriend wanted by working countless hours of overtime and side jobs. The ring she found was out of my price range, but I wanted to do it right, and get the one she wanted. I also started a new job that was a huge opportunity. The catch, it was a graveyard shift, and I had a lot of trouble adjusting to it.
I had a down payment on the engagement ring, and was going to ask my girlfriend’s father for permission the next day (knowing he was going to say yes). Then, a bomb was dropped on me that literally shook my world.
Guess what she told me…
Literally, my life was turned upside down. I didn’t know what to do or how to react. Plans and goals we had created together suddenly vanished. We didn’t have any kids together, so obviously it could’ve been a lot worse. But it did affect more than just me. Our families and friends were in disbelief and didn’t know what to say.
I can go into more details about the situation, but it’s beyond depressing and hurts just thinking about it.
So when the news broke, I didn’t think about what an asshole Arnold is, instead, all I thought about is poor Maria Shriver and their kids. After so many years, to go through something so terrible and public must be devastating. I can only imagine the pain and anguish they must be going through. I hope only the best for her. In fact, I hope for the best for anyone going through something like this.
My grandfather enjoyed baseball, definitely not a diehard fan, but a fan nonetheless.He said it was disappointing hearing about the Dodgers move to Los Angeles.When I asked what he thought about the Mets playing in Queens, he said, “We needed the Mets in the worst way.We needed a second rate team to make fun of”.
True, the Mets get ragged on by a lot by people.Sometimes, it’s easier than others.
The Mets involvement in the Madoff Scandal is a messy situation.One that no one should be in.So till I see more information, I won’t give them a hard time about it.
However, today is a different day, and another chance to point out the “case of crazy” that’s swept the front office.
Because financially hurting from the Madoff Scandal and a brand new empty stadium isn’t enough; the Mets will give ex-slugger, Bobby Bonilla, $1.2 Million annually for the next 25 years!That’s about 30 MILLION DOLLARS!!!
It’s no secret that Bonilla was a flop for the Mets, and by 1999, they were desperate to lose him.So the Mets gave him an offer.Defer his $5.9 million dollars the team owed him in his final year, and get paid retroactively starting in 2011 with 8% compound interest.
Well that time is here, and instead of paying him $6 million, the Mets need to pay him $30 million!!!Oh, and let’s not forget that Bonilla is still on the Orioles and MLB payroll.
Can I blame Bonilla?Absolutely not!
Regardless of his character or his once athletic playing abilities, he made a sound financial investment.One that will pay-off over the next 25-years! You can’t blame the man for hiring the right people to handle his bank account.
As for the Mets, well, what can you say?
This is flat out idiotic.I would love to interview the person from the Mets organization that thought this was a good idea about 12 years ago.I was still in high school at the time this decision was made, and anybody from my math or economics class could’ve figured this was a bad idea.
I’m not even going to blame all of the Mets for this decision.But come on!!! Give Met fans a reason to be excited about your team.It’s deplorable!!!
News of the Bonilla incident resurfaced the same day as their star third baseman (David Wright) was diagnosed with a lower back stress fracture.It doesn’t take a doctor to know how serious and how painful it must be.Wright is the star face of the Mets.Hell, I’m a Yankee fan, and even I like David Wright.It couldn’t get any worse for the Mets right now.
And Yes, I know I’m saying this, as my Yankees are a mess.Still, the Yanks are nowhere near as bad as this.
It's a crime we've all committed. Most of us did it around 16 or 17, when we started to drive. For those who still do it, well, I'll pray for your soul.
Man-Law #5: Touching Another Man's Radio
Oh yes, even something as small as, touching a radio, can cost you man points. If you're a passenger, there are rules to follow.
See, if you're driving, you are the king of the radio. You have overall say of what's going on.
At the same time, under certain circumstances, you CAN touch the radio as a passenger. Here's the breakdown.
When YOU CAN touch the radio:
- Have a phone call? Well you can lower or turn-off the radio to answer it. Please note, you need to turn it back on when you're finished with the call.
- Need to point out something to your buddy really fast? Maybe a hottie walking by or a sale at a bar for hot wings. You better lower the volume and tell him!
- Driving your friend's car because he's either drunk or too tired to drive; you have overall control of the radio. You can put on anything you want. Especially if it helps you stay awake. Let's say your buddy wants to put on Pink Floyd, but you're afraid it's going to make you fall asleep, you are allowed to slap him in the crotch.
-Your buddy needs to borrow money for gas. In that case, you have overall command of the radio.
When YOU CAN'T, touch the radio:
- Waiting for the traffic report, but feel like listening to some tunes in the meantime...tough shit. If the driver wants to sit through the news & commercials, so he doesn't miss it, so do you.
- Your buddy listening to 'The Game'? Well hopefully it's a team you like also, because you'll be rooting with him.
- Don't like the band your buddy is blasting? Well tough shit. You can ask him to lower it, but that's it. You'll have to sit through it. No matter how horrible it may be.
These aren't options. These are rules you must follow. Failure to follow these rules will cost you. The fingers you used to touch the radio with, will be food for the piranha tank at the Coney Island Aquarium. So play nice...
It's been 28 days since I told you about the zombie apocalypse. I felt that it was quite appropriate that today I check in with you.
We had our chance. We could've capitalized on the moment.
Did we though?
No, of course not.
Think of it like ants. You start off with one or two stragglers. Before you know it, they have a colony, and turn into an army.
The news reported it as a new pandemic. Kind of like the 'Mad Cow disease' or 'Pig virus' of 2011. Myself and others saw the signs though. So we prepared.
Meanwhile, the virus (for lack of a better term) was spreading. People needed help, but there was nothing anyone could do. I'll give'em credit though. People fought like hell to help the sick. But their flesh just ended up fueling them, and spreading the virus.
I don't know how the zombie virus came to be. Tell you the truth, I'm not sure if I should care.
Eh, who am I kidding, of course I'd love to know. I just don't have time to think about it.
See, while everyone thought this was some type of pandemic, I stocked up and boarded myself in my house. I charged a lot at the supermarket and home depot. I knew that if things got rough, I wouldn't exactly see a bill.
I have food, water and a generator to last me. But the whole time, I have to think one step ahead.
Worst of all, I know this isn't going to get better any time soon. Things are bound to get worse.
That thinking is what's keeping me alive.
I saw it coming, so I'm prepared.
I know what's ahead of us, so I buckled down.
I want to survive this, so I'll do whatever is damn well necessary.
Hopefully I'll be able to check in with much better news. We all must fight on.
Three simple letters, but when they're next to each other, it drives me nuts. It's used often in text messaging, Facebook & twitter.
It stands for...
Somehow, it's always on the most asinine things.The best of the worst are...
- I have to visit the DMV to renew my license. FML
-OMG I hate the rain. FML
- FML I have another exam tomorrow.
Really people?Shut the fuck up because no one wants to hear your bitchin'.
It's being applied to the most idiotic problems you'll ever have.Now, if I read these it would be a different story...
-FML I have another round of chemo tomorrow.
- I have a funeral because my best friend died. FML
- I wish my father was alive FML
See, on Sunday night a car accident occurred on a local highway (probably due to some drunk asshole).In the accident was a friend.Luckily, he walked away with minor injuries.A second guy was severely hurt & the third didn't make it.
I didn't know what to do or say.I was flabbergasted by the text messages and Facebook updates.
In the middle of these sad updates though, I saw tons of FML comments.
I never wanted to slap someone through a computer so badly.People are complaining about such simple nuances.When in all reality, they don't know how good they have it.
So shut the fuck up, and analyze your life.As long as you have your health, friends/family that love you and have your back; you really have no clue how good your life is.
Have ever since I could remember.My sports knowledge varies from one to the next, but I'm always down to watch a game.
Know what I can’t stand? PEOPLE WHO CAN’T SHOW SPORTSMANSHIP!
It drives me nuts.It's one thing if you're screwing around with teammates Pre-game, but showboating, there's just no room for it.
On home-run trots, tackles, dunks, goal scored...
I can't stand the excessive behavior.Kids pick up on it, and it causes problems in the stands.Granted, athletes do make mistakes, and own up to them.But there's no excuse in the highlight reels below.
The L.A. Lakers were far from acting like defending champs.They realized they were about to be eliminated from the playoffs.So two players decided it was acceptable to act like a pair of D-bags.
Lamar Odom threw a flagrant elbow into Dallas Maverick, Dirk Nowitzki.The play was dirty and uncalled for.You hear the announcer say, “If you are a champion, you have to lose as a champion.”It’s a brilliant quote, and what does Nowitzki do as Odom is cursing at him?He walks away without saying a word to him.He realized the stupidity of it, and knows how important he is to his team.
PLAY WITH LAMAR ODOM - PLAY HAPPENS 10 SECONDS IN
That was bad, but of course, it gets worse.
PLAY WITH ANDY BYNUM - PLAY HAPPENS 10 SECONDS IN
That was bad, but of course, it gets worse.
Andrew Bynum, or as I like to call him, the biggest pussy in the NBA…
Literally went after J.J. Barea who was about to score.While Barea was going for a layup, Bynum threw an elbow into his ribs, causing Barea to crash hard onto the floor.
It was shocking in two ways.The fact that Barea hit the floor so hard, and the fact a so called “professional” acted in such a way.Luckily Barea was able to get up on his own.I’m sure he was sore the next day, but what if he really got hurt?
All because a grown man-child couldn’t have it his way.
It’s despicable and deplorable.
I really hope some serious suspensions and fines come towards them.This is the kind of behavior that makes people sick.
So I need to reward Odom and Bynum for their actions.Due to their actions, they win the award of D-bags of the week.
There are two sides to being a wingman, and you must know these rules.Doesn't matter if you just noticed girls, or you've been married for decades.You must know the ways of a wingman.
Simply put, a wingman helps his buddy get a girl.Maybe it’s meeting at a bar, first time meeting friends, or helping him showcase a skill set.
Let me explain further with some examples.
A guy sees two girls at a bar.He can turn to his buddy and say something like, "talk to the blond, so I can talk to the brunette."He must agree, due to man law, so his buddy has a better shot at talking to his "choice".Think of it as, running interference.
Now first time meeting friends is always the easiest.Well, for the wingman anyways.A guy will bring out a girl to introduce her to his friends.All the wingman has to do is mention how awesome his friend is.That's it.Just make him look as awesome and unique as possible.But you do have to resist any past jokes that make him look like a tool.
Showcasing a skill set is simple enough.Here's an example.A guy brings a girl to a show he's playing in (Lets say guitar in a band).As he's setting up gear, the buddy needs to hype him up.He should say things like, "he's modest but he's really good at what he does, he has a passion for this, he's committed and practices to be better..." Types of things that's similar to being in a relationship.
Now true, the essential idea of a wingman is to make your friend look good.However, you can't abuse this power.This is the other side of being a wingman.
You can't ask your friend to be a wingman every time you go out.That's just abuse of power.Know when to call it.
Having personal/professional problems and you need to get your mind off of things...that calls for a wingman.
Need to get over a girl...that calls for a wingman.
Have had the hots for someone and need every advantage possible...fuck yeah that calls for a wingman.
However, in no way are you allowed to ask your buddy if...you're calling it all the time because it makes your life easy, his heart was broken and doesn't want to go out yet, or you don't want him to pick the girls.
Listen, this is an ageless art.If you look it up, I'm sure you'll find it in a ninja hand guide.Practice and respect the art.
A few years ago I was in a car accident.It wasn't horrendous, but it could've been a lot worse.
The car was totaled, and I still have some back issues.Again, it could've been worse, so I count my blessings.
See, I thought for sure it was all over for me.My truck, at about 60mph, was spinning across 5 lanes of highway traffic.The truck wanted to tip over, and I'm still, not sure how It didn't do cartwheels across the highway.
So with good reason, I try to live life to the fullest.A friend asked recently, "Why do you have to be such a nice guy?"
I chuckled and said, "We won't be here forever, might as well live it up."
So when I saw a top ten list of - "Living Life to the Fullest" - I had to check it out.
I really think it's a great list.Doesn’t matter on your gender; all that matter is sticking to these rules throughout life.So here they are, with some insight of yours truly.
10. HAVE A GOAL TO ACCOMPLISH
Bottom line; we all need something to strive for.Doesn’t matter if it’s short term, or long term.Think things through.Don’t just follow the routine of life.Ask yourself what you’re trying to do.
9. PLAN YOUR MEALS FOR THE WEEK
Think it’s stupid?WRONG!This simple step will help you worry less and build a healthier body.Do it for a week.You’ll be surprised how great you’ll feel after.
8.SCHEDULE A VACATION IN ADVANCE
Sometimes, you really need to get away from it all.It happens to the best of us.So go ahead and plan something nice.
7. PLAN HANGING WITH PEOPLE DAYS AHEAD OF TIME
Hanging out with good people will always equal good times.So if you want to have some fun, plan something with them days in advance.
6. TRY NEW HOBBIES EVERY FEW MONTHS
You need to switch it up and try new things.Either get your hands dirty or get in touch with your artistic side.Who knows what can become a passion.
5.TAKE A NAP
How can you argue with this one?You always feel like a million bucks after a nap.If you think I’m wrong, well, you deserve a slap in the face.
Turn off the phone and just go for a walk.Get lost in your thoughts for 30 minutes.It’ll do wonders for you.
3. GET SUNLIGHT
We’ve all had days when we’re either stuck in the office for a full day (aka-florescent hell) or had cabin fever.The sun is a magical ball in the sky.Give it a try.
2. HAVE SEX
Do I really have to explain why?You should only wonder why this isn’t number one.
1. EXERCISE ISN’T NEGOTIABLE
Take care of your body, and it’ll treat you well.Get out and move around.Every day will seem like a lottery prize.