Monday, April 23, 2012

MAN-LAW: THE DENIM GAMES


We’re men. 

We don’t ask for directions, but we sure as shit need help shopping for a pair of tube socks.

Now there’s certain guidelines guys follow with clothes.

It’s okay to ask someone if your suit looks presentable before a job interview…There’s nothing wrong with wanting a second opinion when getting a tuxedo fitting…You can sure as shit have tons of Chuck Taylors in your closet, and it’s a-okay.
My testicles hurt just looking
at this picture

However, there’s one rule of clothing that should be an automatic for guys…

MAN-LAW #23: A GUY’S JEANS CAN’T BE TIGHTER THAN A GIRLS

You know you’ve seen it, and you know your face has cringed.

It an effort to be trendy an standout from the pack, many guys have gone for the skinny/tight jean look. For some who may not have seen this attire, allow me to debrief the situation. 

Imagine guys wearing ridiculously tight denim jeans. So tight, you wo­­uld think someone painted the denim onto their legs!  Yup, that kind of skinny. 
­
Let's ignore the appearance aspect for just a moment. How the hell can a guy operate during the day in those jeans?!?
Zac Efron wears tight jeans.
I rest my case!

I would imagine that with every step you take in those things, guys would be crushing their junk. Yet, for whatever reason, they're able to ignore the pain. 

I’ve heard the saying that, ‘beauty is pain’, but is it really worth cutting the circulation to your man berries?

Bottom line…a crushed testicle…is something no man should have to deal worth.  Now a crushed testy due to jeans…you deserve a crushed testy…and a hole punched into your man card.

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