Friday, September 14, 2012

PUTTING ADULTHOOD IN PERSPECTIVE BY BIG BROTHER


I want to put something into perspective.

So humor me if you will…and let me tell you the legal things you can do as a 21 year-old adult in America.


- Drive a car
- Drink alcohol
- Smoke cigars or cigarettes
- Gamble at a casino
- Buy lotto tickets
Words of Wisdom
    - Don’t need a co-signer for big ticket items (pending credit check)
- Serve your county in war
- See an R-rated movie
- Teach someone to drive a car
- Adopt a child
- Become a scoutmaster
- Change your name
- Get a tattoo
- Get a piercing
- Get/be sued
- Get married
- Get divorced
- Go on Jerry Springer
- Skydive
- Get a loan
- Get Insurance
- Legally sign something
- Get a cell/smart phone
- Go to adult jail
- Work full time
- Become a stripper
- Go see a stripper
He'll understand one day
     - Vote
- Enter a contest
- Carry a weapon (with proper license)
- Bungee jumping
- Lease/rent/buy your own place
- Work pretty much anywhere
- Start a 401(K) plan
- Pay taxes

Now, let me tell you something you can’t do. 

Soon…You can’t buy a soda or other excessively sugary beverage over 16 ounces in a New York City restaurant.

Yup, let’s thank Mayor Bloomberg for infringing on our rights and individual freedom more than any other mayor in the ‘War Against Obesity’.   

In case the sarcasm isn’t pouring through your computer…let me be blunt.

Bloomberg is an utter putz for this.

If your restaurant is caught selling over 16 ounces of soda…they will be fined $200!!! A soft-drink sponsored group says they already have more than 250,000 signatures to petition against the plan.

My mother told me once that I couldn’t drink too much soda for a meal.  I believe I was nine at the time. Unless Bloomberg is doing some cross dressing on the weekends…he better stop playing the role of mommy dearest and nock it off with the big government bull shit! 

Monday, September 10, 2012

MAN-LAW: MOVIES YOU MUST WATCH


Less than a week to go, and I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t been this excited to see a movie in a very long time. 

AMC is showing all of the Indiana Jones movies at select theaters this Saturday.  Seeing as I love the movies and only watched them on DVD/cable; I’m beyond excited to see such a kick ass franchise. 

I also realized that I haven’t done a Man-Law blog in a long time too.  So with a little inspiration from anticipation…here’s this week blog…

MAN-LAW:  MOVIES MEN MUST WATCH

We all have a particular movie collection in our heads. 

The ones that make you feel like a kid.
Ones that make you feel like you can single handedly take on an army.
And of course one that you’ll laugh your ass off.  Even if you’ve heard the jokes a million times.

So it got me thinking.  What are the movies that every man out there needs to see.  They don’t totally need to me super macho type movies.  At best, the list needs to be rounded off of top quality movies of every genre.  So here’s my list.  IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER of movies every guy must see…

-       THREE STOOGES (ANYTHING)
-       ABBOTT & COSTELLO (ANYTHING)
-       CASABLANCA
-       CITIZEN KANE
-       REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE
-       SPARTACUS
-       JAMES BOND MOVIES
o  This is a tough one.  I guess I’d say ‘Dr. No’, but you can make a valid argument for any other type. Yes, the fact it’s Sean Connery has a lot to do with this pick.
-       EASY RIDER
-       THE GREEN MILE
-       PATTON
-       A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
-       DIRTY HARRY
-       SHAFT
-       THE GODFATHER
-       MEL BROOKS MOVIES
o  Another tricky one.  There’s no clear cut movie winner here.  Enjoy what you can.
-       JAWS
-       MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
-       ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST
-       ROCKY MOVIES
-       OFFICE SPACE
-       SLAP SHOT
-       STAR WARS
-       CHARLIE CHAPLIN MOVIES (ANYTHING)
-       GONE IN 60 SECONDS
-       ANIMAL HOUSE
-       APOCALYPSE NOW
-       THE WARRIORS
-       AIRPLANE
-       THE BLUES BROTHERS
-       GHOSTBUSTERS
-       CADDYSHACK
-       RAGING BULL
-       DAWN OF THE DEAD
-       PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
-       BACK TO THE FUTURE
-       THE SHINING
-       STRIPES
-       MEATBALLS
o  JUST THE FIRST ONE.  THAT’S IT!!!
-       BEVERLY HILLS COP
-       TERMINATOR
-       FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF
-       FULL METAL JACKET
-       DIE HARD
-       THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER
-       MATRIX (FIRST ONE ONLY)
-       GOODFELLAS
-       SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
-       RESERVOIR DOGS
-       WEDDING CRASHERS
-       BEING ELMO
-       WAYNE’S WORLD
-       EVIL DEAD / ARMY OF DARKNESS
-       SCHINDLER’S LIST
-       KEVIN SMITH MOVIES…BUT AT LEAST CLERKS
-       FIGHT CLUB
-       JUNO
-       TEAM AMERICA
-       300
-       SIN CITY
-       RAMBO
-       NOLAN BATMAN TRILOGY
-       AVENGERS
-       NAKED GUN
-       OCEANS 11
-       SHAUN OF THE DEAD
-       STRANGER THAN FICTION
****AND FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE***
MUTHA FUCKIN' GOONIES


***Let me point out one thing.  I can't point out every single fan boy / award winning type of movie.  If I did...this post would go on forever.  Take this is an ultra mini cliff-note list.***

Saturday, September 8, 2012

THE NEED TO READ INDEPENDENT COMICS


Last day of my comic book blog week.  I have to say, it’s been fun.  There’s a certain thrill in writing about something you care about.  Yes, I’ve had highs and lows with my comic habit, but don’t we all feel that way about something now and again?

Then suddenly I hit a wall.  Not in looking for comics, but to finish the blog week.  Then I came across this article on ‘Comic Intervention’.  
It’s about a guy owning 30,000 comics and having to sell part of his collection.  Then I realized how to end the blog week. 

Was it about auctioning his books?  Nope.
Was it how to get on a stupid reality television show? Hell no.

It was the fact I asked myself, “I wonder what he has in those boxes besides Marvel & DC?”

Pick a hero...any hero
More often than not, it’s a big name character like Spider-man or Batman that gets people into comics.  However, it’s that great…fantastic…and utterly brilliant independent comic that keeps you going.

Independent / no name titles are truly a diamond in the rough.   Think of it as an underground band that not everyone has heard of yet.

It’s like your own little secret of awesomeness.  You don’t have to like it because someone says you should.  Nope, it’s whatever makes you happy.

For example, I became huge fans of the comics ‘Y the Last Man’ & ‘The Walking Dead’ before they became popular.  Both are very enjoyable, but most importantly, these stories are driven by excellent story telling.

Art is great and all, but It’s fantastic storytelling that keeps me going on a title.  And you know what?  That’s okay!
TPB's at their best

It doesn’t matter if you pick up the individual comics or the trade paperback (TPB).  Frankly, it doesn’t really matter as long as you expose yourself to this unique genre. 

Remember, independent comics follow their own rules.  Due to which, the sky’s the limit on what may show up on the pages.

I’m not sure you can call it an independent comic because of its already established popularity, but I LOVE the Ghostbusters comics!  Released by the publisher IDW; the Ghostbuster monthly series is something I look forward to in my pull box.  It’s just great fun that exists in its own world. 

No one is looking to argue with me.
I don’t have to compare it to any other superhero book.
All I have to do is sit back…smile…and enjoy 32 pages of bliss.

They're ready to believe you!
You may not know where to look.
You may not know what’s up your ally.
If you’re confused/unsure; that’s totally okay.

Give independent books a chance though.  That's one thing about TBP's that's so great.  For a cheap price you can read a collection of books to see if you like them or not.  

You never know what kind of undiscovered writer/artist you’ll find.  They can be the next big thing.  Then you can be that person saying, “You may not have heard or seen this, but you gotta give this book a try!”

Till then, look into the independent scene, and find your 32 pages of bliss.  

Thursday, September 6, 2012

CHILL WITH THE COMIC VARIANTS!!!


When I think of comics of my childhood, two series come to mind right away.  Todd McFarlane’s adjective less ‘Spider-Man’  in 1990 and the Jim Lee / Chris Claremont ‘X-Men’ run in 1991.


These #1 issues was one of the biggest ‘HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING’ moments of my childhood memories. 

Jim Lee’s artwork was utterly brilliant (and still is to this day). Chris Claremont wrote an amazing storyline that kept me wanting the next issue.  McFarlane couldn’t do any wrong.  He brought a dark side of Spider-Man  that I never witnessed before, and I loved every second of it.

As a kid I thought these were extra special.  Not for the stores or art, but the fact variant covers were coming out.  Different covers of #1’s were consistently coming out.  I thought it was the coolest thing in the world.  I wanted them so badly because I figured variant covers were so rare.

How wrong I was.

Fast-forward about  20 or so years later.  If I had a chance of encountering my younger self, I’d probably smack him upside the head for having such a stupid thought.

A month can’t go by with a stupid variant cover coming out.  More often than not, they’re not newsstand prices either.  Nope, they can range anywhere from $10 to even $50 (based on how many issues were printed).

Possibly the most famous variant cover to come out in recent memory is Amazing Spider-Man 583.  Don’t remember what it is?  Sure you do.  It’s the Spider-Man issue featuring President Barack Obama on the cover.  People ate this issue up like crazy.  Prices were going up, and variant issues came out (five variants in total).

Variants were once cool.  Now, they’ve oversaturated the market. 

When once people were excited to get their hands on a variant, now more often than not they huff in exhaustion from them.  Reason being is very simple.

Sometimes, comics come out twice a month.  A variant would technically, in an odd perspective, make it three times a month.  So within one month, you can easily spend around $25 for just three comics.  That’s a lot of fucking money people!!!

It’s getting out of hand.  Usually variants would come out for a #1…#50…#100 type of special issue numbers, or special anniversary type (50th anniversary of Spider-Man for example).

So what was once new, innovating and exciting… is just a pain in the ass now.

Without even looking it up, I’d guess that the Wolverine storyline ‘Old Man Logan’ had at least 20 variants in total.

So please publishers…calm the fuck down with these variants.  You’re sucking the fun out of collecting comics.